Most guys are in shock right after the breakup occurs and they find themselves anxiously asking “What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back“? Immediately,they begin to start thinking and wondering about everything that they might have done differently.  The entire relationship plays over and over again in their heads.

They seek the advice on thier close friends and sometimes even their ex’s family.  They feel desperate and out of control, and they are willing to do anything to try to get back together with the one they love. They even begin to plot and plan and write and rewrite apology letters and other things that might be able to help them get their relationship back.

All of these desperate efforts done without thinking it through tends to be a waste of time and, frankly, a dead end for the simple reason that, as a guy, you can never really be sure of what the real reasons were behind the breakup. Women tend to make decisions more from their hearts rather than from their heads and many times they, themselves, do not even know the real reasons that led to the break up.

They are emotional creatures and they most likely do not know what is making them feel like the relationship is finished. For that reason, most of the time it is just a waste of time and energy trying to pinpoint exactly what led up to the final break up.

As crazy as it may seem to you now, the first thing you should do is put the relationship out of your mind for a while. Yes, your first move in answer to the question about “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” is to do nothing at all about the relationship.  By the way, this same advice would be true if you were a woman trying to learn how to get him back after a break up.

Just forget about your ex for now, not forever, just for a while.  Start making new friends, reconnect with old friends, buy some new clothes, join a gym or start playing a sport, and put some of your energy into making yourself look better. Right now, you’re not ready to start seeing other women, so put that idea on the back burner for a while.

This time away from your ex girlfriend will give you time to make important long-range changes in your life, and it will actually give you a new perspective on relationships in general. After two or three months of working on yourself, you’ll have a better idea of how or if your want to proceed with your ex.  Maybe you want to get back together with her and maybe you don’t, but either way you will be making decisions using a calm, cool head.

At this time, if you do want to get your ex back, try to find out how she is feeling about you.  You should call her, set up a time an meet with her, be direct, but cool.  Avoid becoming emotional or begging.

Keep in mind that your girlfriend has probably been missing you as much as you have been missing her.  Let her know that you have been doing okay without her, but don’t play too hard to get.  If she thinks there is a chance that you are going on with your life, it may motivate her to start thinking about how her life would be without you.

If your relationship is meant to be, things will move forward from this meeting.  Try not to over think everything, because analyzing everything to death may actually prevent you from following your heart when trying to figure out “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back”. Take things slow and easy and you should be rewarded by getting back together with your ex.